Everybody has Something

It is Saturday morning.  I've had my first cup of coffee and MM and the cat are still snoring away.  A few months ago, after 5 1/2 years of working seven days a week, 12-16 hours a day, MM confided in me that he thinks I am working too much.  YA THINK?!  If you have been following me for awhile, you know that a few years ago my "word of the year" was balance.  As you can see, I am a work in progress!  But I do listen to MM.  He is my rock and though he doesn't say a lot, when he does, I try to listen to him.  With that in mind, since sometime in the summer, I have been taking one day a week off of work.  I admit, that my mind often strays back in that direction, I have a lot on my plate!  But I have been loyal to the commitment of not physically working on bags one day a week.  No cutting fabric.  No sewing burlap. What a concept!

Kikuye Sasaki
 November 10, 2013
enjoying her garden

I don't actually "take the day off" though, and you won't find me at the beach on my day off.  At least not now.  For the past eight months my mother-in-law has been experiencing congestive heart failure.  I am lucky enough to be part of a family who has all pulled together to lighten the load of caring for her at home and feel honored that we are able to help fulfill her wish to be at home.  She is 93 and is such a sweet and kind woman.  So a couple of days a week, MM and I pack our bags and head up to her house. If she isn't having a good day I just sit by her bed and read the paper to myself, dust, vacuum, or even prep hang tags for my bags.  Some days she even recounts her stories of being a young girl whose family ran a piggery and she and her sisters had to go door to door to collect slop from the neighbors to feed to the pigs.  But on a good day, we sit outside and just let her look at her garden.  That is where she finds the most peace and joy. That is still "quality of life" in my book!  The things you see when you sit very still!  Butterflies, pheasants, wild pigs, and birds!  I like to take my camera or use her ipad to take photos that later can be played back for her when she is in bed. 

When you are involved as a caretaker, other things in life take on a different level of importance.  I can appreciate how a company may have been "too busy" to place an order in advance and they may want 80 bags next week.  Or is it that they just didn't respect me and what I do enough to order in advance?  Hmmm...interesting question!  I have a crude saying (CRUDE ALERT!)  "I don't just pull these bags out of my butt!  I actually have to MAKE them!"  I am committed to my career but I also have a life.  I have a husband, a yard, and I have a family member who I help to look after.  I have to consider what constitutes an emergency.  I may have just been up all night wondering if this is my mother-in-law's last night on this earth.  When I come home, I do my best to shake off what I may have been dealing with and I jump back into work mode but EVERYBODY has something that they are dealing with in their life.

I have learned that concept more than once in my life and because of it, I try to live a life of compassion.  I do try to consider what others may be going through.  If somebody cuts me off in traffic, instead of getting peaved, I truly try to imagine just what that person's mind may be preoccupied with.  Are they on their way to the hospital?  Did someone they love just receive a diagnosis of something dreadful and their mind isn't where it should be?  Could they be hurrying in to the grocery store to frantically grab an item that was a dying request of a loved one?  Yep!  I have been that person and I know that I am not unique or alone.  Rather than to assume people are just "jerks" I prefer to assume that most inconsiderate people have something consuming their thoughts and affecting their actions.   

So right now, even though the 2013 Holiday season is kicking off, I admit to you that my production level is a bit lower than some years.  I carefully schedule in all of the jobs that I have taken so that I don't let anyone down.  I promise to always do my best, but please don't begrudge that I take one day a week off.  If I tell you that I can't take on an extra project, I am not being a diva.  I am being human and understanding my own limitations.  "Everybody has something" going on in their lives.  For me....it is LIFE itself. 

a hui hou